ON FAMILIES or
t h e r e ' s s o m a n y w a y s t o d o t h i s
Libretto on families, 2024
I. Family Structures
I guess you could say we're high school
Sweet hearts
Being from a small Southern town,
both of us
are from small Southern towns,
we’re just raised
that when you marry a man
one day,
when you marry a man
when you get your husband,
then
you start your family.
we had been told our whole life that
that
that was right
that was right
I want to be a parent
we want kids
we want
our kids
BEFORE ME
Before
us
On this day
Tuesday
To day
To date
There have always been others
I do not like to kill mosquitos
but what if
They are discouraged by the law
We live on a farm
It's just what we do
I love what I do
Our kids are growing up thinking
it's all so normal
these are my parents
Our kids call me Roo
They call them Moo
And I said
Oh Boy
OH BOY
We didn’t have rules
who is supposed to do what
who's supposed to feel what
who’s supposed to be what
Okay, sperm?
What do we do?
From who?
It feels like us
being us
And existing
Is putting a stake in the ground
a practice
every day
On being the people we want to be
In a way
I couldn’t have imagined
The open window
full of force
Running upstairs the children
Sing
Mama
Mutti
Eema
Abba
Baba
Butch
Daddy
Dot
II. Family Building
By the time we arrived
they were agreeable
so agreeable
That is to say, the courtroom was open
open to them
or their kin
or their kind
As a child, I was a butch child.
I had short hair.
I wore my dad's clothes.
the speed
instantly
everything was pink
Today I thought
about how maybe I would enjoy carrying a child, carrying my child
that it would be great if my future partner and I could have that option
I didn’t think I wanted children for the longest time
but what I didn’t want
was to be a mom.
Being a dad seems a lot more appealing
and do-able
to be a dad and to walk
down the street (claps)
I experienced an accidental pregnancy last year
and I didn’t feel dysphoric
If anything it was the only time when having the body that I do has ever made sense to me.
That’s what made me decide I wanted to be a seahorse dad
rather than just a dad.
BEFORE ME
Before
us
On this day
Tuesday
To day
To date
There have been others
"We were born in one body and people thought we were this thing that matched our body,
but actually,
we feel on the inside
in our hearts that we are someone else."
being queer made us start this journey later.
my wife didn't even know what trans was
until she was in her twenties, let alone if that was her
Or if she could be a parent
Or a mother
This person’s mommy
And this person’s honey
She just started calling her honey
she still calls her honey,
So we call her Honey. Honey. Honey.
I think it was really disturbing to me
that I passed
as a straight person with a baby.
There's this way that it protected me,
but it also disturbed me
I was a young,
queer person
with a baby,
and, everybody just treated me
like a straight person
My partner might have carried him
But I willed this child
into existence
If only they knew
we wrote a birth announcement from the hospital
that was a very long email about our labor and our amazing kid.
we intentionally used no pronouns in that announcement.
When we got home
We were welcomed by a huge banner hung on our gate
With balloons
That just said, "It's a girl."
And we were like, "Is it?"
The open window is full of force
Running upstairs the children
Sing
Poppy
Papi
Anya
Mellie
MaPa
Lala
Mimo
Mombo
III. Breaking and Buying
I finally got pregnant
maybe eight months in
This is all kind of new
We're married, she's going to adopt the kiddo
"Okay, we're family now, holy shit”
When we walked into the courtroom
together
They let us call our names
Our friends wished us luck
We walked in together
Your Honor,
This person is not listed
In the central registry
The flat rate of six thousand dollars
Is paid to us for fulfillment
Hush, hush
i hush, you hush, they hush
She asked them to hush
Side by side, we sat
She started:
There's a family
They're a family
with the child
A cute child
They sat side by side
<whisper> Why do you not speak louder
It was necessary
Necessary to speak very softly
Very softly, we cried, the baby cried
The judge said - Please raise your hand
Yes
Yes Yes
Yes yessss yes yes
yes
She said:
from my lovely body
From this lovely body
The baby came
They said:
to eat an entire field of strawberries
She picked him up
And blessed their child by name
Side by side, they came
Into the courtroom
to say goodbye
And claim
the rights
the privileges
the powers
the duties
Of becoming a parent
The open window is full of force
Running upstairs the children
Sing
Cita
Cowboy
Mumma
Tata
Jelly
Oomi
Moppa
Opie
Wawa
IV. For Future Queers
For queer parents -
there is a separation of
biology from
parenthood
The most rewarding part,
is how we want to raise her
It's really
it's r e a l l y healing
to be able to experience
family in a different way
I can remember looking forward to this moment
Being a family
Being a rent
Being with my children
Is just as affirming
as I’ve imagined
and also hard to believe
most days
But there it is
Its all there
Inside my body
Inside her body
The ducts
The milk
The hair
The deepening voice
The three of us
together
So many queers
Want to legally get married,
have a kid,
gender the kid,
just do everything as heteronormative as possible. But I want more
more options,
t h e r e ' s s o m a n y w a y s t o d o t h i s .
I guess it's similar to a hetero relationship,
they have two parents,
but it's also
different, you know?
There's no “mom and dad”
In our world
There's no “mom and dad”
In this world
I think that's the best thing to come out of this
finding people who are similar to me,
maybe look like me,
who are stretching their bodies
to create this beautiful life
You know.
queerness is just so so
much
about doing things in a really different way,
being curious about other ways
being open to
other ways of being sexual,
other ways of being in your body
other ways of knowing,
and I just feel like there's no room for that in the birth world,
You don't have to do it that way
Or their way
Or any way
You can do it this way.
You could also do it that other way. Or your own way.
You could have four parents,
you could have one parent or none
you can have parents and aunts and guncles
diblings, siblings, bio kids or not
We’re preparing to celebrate this holiday
With my lover
My partner
My husband, and kin
My husband will make Norwegian buns,
his girlfriend wants to try a sprouts in crushed crumbs
My husband’s girlfriend’s boyfriend
is committed to roasting a vegan duck
and making eggnog for the kids
Her husband isn’t going to cook.
We’ll make him wash the dishes.
My girlfriend is bringing fried fishes,
A cake with whipped cream and berries
Fine china and porcelain dishes
We will all take turns chasing the kids on the farm
I feel like being queer has like so much to offer that world
It’s like opening up how
we get to experience being in our bodies,
and opening up how we get to,
make choices about who were family with and
there's just so many really beautiful radical lessons
from being queer if only others were more open to it,
we would be better for it
The open window is full of force
Running upstairs the children
Sing
Baba Pear
Mama Plum
Zadi
Honey
Ren
Zaza
Pompom
Kina
Beau